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Avoiding Unrealistic Expectations: Supporting Your Child's Swim Journey

Updated: Feb 26, 2023


Learning how to swim is a vital skill that can not only save a child's life in case of an emergency but also open up opportunities for fun and exercise. Therefore, it is understandable that parents have high expectations when it comes to their child's swimming abilities. However, these expectations can sometimes be misguided and unrealistic, causing unnecessary stress and frustration for both the child and the parent.

Some common misconceptions that parents may have regarding their child's swimming abilities include the idea that their child should be able to swim independently at a very young age or that they should be able to master complicated strokes quickly. These expectations can be detrimental to a child's progress, as they may discourage them from enjoying the learning process and cause them to feel overwhelmed or anxious.

Let's explore some of these misguided assumptions and offer alternative, more positive expectations that parents can adopt to help their children become proficient swimmers. Common misconceptions or unrealistic expectations that they may have. Here are a few examples:

  1. Expecting Quick Results: Some parents may expect their children to learn how to swim quickly and easily, without realising that it can be a gradual process that takes time and practice. This can create undue pressure and stress for the child, and may even hinder their progress.

  2. Focusing Too Much on Competitive Swimming: While competitive swimming can be a great sport for children who enjoy it, some parents may focus too much on this aspect and put too much pressure on their child to perform at a high level. This can take away from the enjoyment of the sport and may cause the child to lose interest.

  3. Ignoring Individual Needs and Abilities: Every child is unique and may have different needs and abilities when it comes to learning how to swim. Some parents may make the mistake of expecting their child to progress at the same rate as others, without taking into account their individual strengths and weaknesses.

  4. Being Overly Critical: While it's important to provide constructive feedback and encouragement, some parents may be overly critical of their child's swimming abilities, which can lead to a loss of confidence and motivation.

  5. Assuming that Private Lessons are the Only Option: Some parents may assume that private swim lessons are the only way for their child to learn how to swim and may put pressure on themselves to pay for expensive private lessons. However, group lessons can be just as effective and offer additional benefits such as socialisation and the opportunity to learn from other children.

  6. Expecting a One-Size-Fits-All Approach: Every child learns differently, and what works for one child may not work for another. Some parents may expect the same approach to work for all children, but this can be detrimental to their child's progress. It's important for swim teachers to recognise each child's unique learning style and adjust their teaching approach accordingly.

  7. Focusing Solely on Technique: While proper technique is important for effective swimming, some parents may place too much emphasis on technique and not enough on enjoyment and having fun. This can cause the child to become overly focused on technique and lose sight of the joy that swimming can bring.

  8. Expecting Perfection: Learning how to swim is a gradual process, and it's normal for children to make mistakes and have setbacks along the way. Some parents may expect their child to be perfect from the outset and may become frustrated or disappointed when the child struggles. It's important for parents to recognise that progress takes time and to encourage their children to keep trying.

  9. Assuming that the Child Will Automatically Enjoy Swimming: While swimming can be a fun and enjoyable activity for many children, not all children may immediately take to the water. Some children may feel uncomfortable or anxious in the water at first, and may need some time and patience to become more confident and comfortable.

  10. Expecting the Child to Progress at the Same Pace as Others: Every child learns at their own pace, and some may progress faster or slower than others. Some parents may compare their child's progress to that of other children in the same class, which can create undue pressure and stress for the child.

  11. Neglecting Swim Safety Measures Outside of Lessons: While learning how to swim is an important step in promoting water safety, it's also important for parents to take additional safety measures outside of swim lessons. This includes supervising children around water, installing pool fences or covers, and teaching children basic water safety skills.

  12. Focusing Too Much on Performance: While it's natural for parents to want their child to do well, some parents may focus too much on their child's performance and overlook the importance of enjoyment and having fun. This can lead to the child feeling pressured to perform well, which may take away from the joy of swimming.


Parents should approach their child's swimming education with realistic expectations and a focus on safety, health, and enjoyment. It's important to support the child in their learning journey and to encourage them to progress at their own pace without placing undue pressure or unrealistic expectations, especially on the younger ones.



There are many positive expectations that parents can have in regards to their child learning how to swim. Here are a few examples:


  1. Focusing on Safety: One of the most important expectations parents can have is for their child to learn important water safety skills. By teaching children how to swim, parents can help ensure that they are able to stay safe around water, which is a critical life skill.

  2. Encouraging Enjoyment and Fun: Swimming can be a fun and enjoyable activity, and parents should encourage their child to have fun and enjoy the process of learning how to swim. By emphasizing the fun aspect of swimming, parents can help their child develop a lifelong love of the water.

  3. Promoting Confidence and Self-Esteem: Learning how to swim can be a confidence-building experience for children. Parents can help promote their child's self-esteem by acknowledging their progress and accomplishments, and by encouraging them to continue learning and trying new things.

  4. Celebrating Progress: Every child learns at their own pace, and it's important for parents to celebrate their child's progress, no matter how small. By acknowledging their child's achievements, parents can help motivate their child to continue learning and improving.

  5. Encouraging a Lifelong Skill: Swimming is a skill that can be enjoyed throughout a person's life, and parents can encourage their children to continue swimming as they grow older. By instilling a love of swimming early on, parents can help ensure that their child continues to enjoy the water and stay safe throughout their life.

  6. Building Physical Health: Swimming is a great form of exercise and can help children build physical health and fitness. Parents can expect their child to gain strength, endurance, and flexibility as they learn how to swim, which can contribute to their overall health and well-being.

  7. Encouraging Socialisation: Group swim lessons provide a great opportunity for children to socialise with others and make new friends. Parents can expect their children to develop social skills and learn how to work as part of a team, which can be valuable skills that carry over to other areas of life.

  8. Developing Independence: Learning how to swim can be a great way for children to develop independence and autonomy. As they become more confident and capable in the water, parents can expect their children to take on more responsibility for their own safety and well-being.

  9. Encouraging a Love of the Outdoors: Swimming is an outdoor activity that allows children to connect with nature and enjoy the beauty of the natural world. Parents can expect their child to develop an appreciation for the outdoors and a love of the water that will last a lifetime.

  10. Fostering a Sense of Achievement: Learning how to swim is a challenging and rewarding experience, and parents can expect their child to feel a sense of achievement as they progress. By setting achievable goals and acknowledging their child's progress, parents can help foster a sense of pride and accomplishment in their child.


While it is understandable that parents have high expectations for their child's swimming abilities, it is important to avoid unrealistic and misguided assumptions that can hinder a child's progress in learning how to swim. It is crucial for parents to recognise these misconceptions and avoid putting undue pressure on their children. Instead, parents can adopt positive expectations and provide their children with the necessary support to help them become proficient swimmers. This includes focusing on their child's individual progress, encouraging them to have fun and enjoy the learning process, and providing opportunities for them to practise and refine their skills. By adopting these positive attitudes, parents can help their children develop confidence and become competent swimmers.

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